About an hour ago, I came upstairs from my lair I mean office in the basement and began eavesdropping on my kids and their friends.
The subject was virtual barbering. I sincerely believe I should never stop learning, so I asked about it, and learned more than I ever wanted to know about how you really can get a haircut for your virtual guy in an on-line game. Good to know.

Then it hit me: what is the etymology for barber? Now, here I have to admit to the fact that for a moment, I lost my senses and made an odd connection that barber might be linked to barbarian — I know, it makes very little sense when the obvious answer is barbe…

However, my 12 year old son jumped on the chance to swindle money from an old lady and agreed to my bet that it was related to barbarian…

And I lost $2. By the time I had opened the dictionary to the letter “B” I knew I was wrong. But noticing that my son was more astute than his mom…priceless : )

When I was 16 or 17, Wynton Marsalis came out with an album called Black Codes. The music inspired me, and still does. But on the album cover there is a quote from Marsalis that changed the way I live my life:

” Black Codes mean a lot of things. Anything that reduces potential, that pushes your taste down to an obvious, animal level. Anything that makes you think less significance is more enjoyable. Anything that keeps you on the surface. The way they depict women in rock videos—Black Codes. People gobbling up junk food when they can afford something better—Black Codes. The argument that illiteracy is valid in a technological world—Black Codes. People who equate ignorance with soulfulness—definitely Black Codes. The overall quality of every true artist’s work is a rebellion against Black Codes.”

Here is a link to Wynton Marsalis’ website.

You don’t have to do anything higher than to love and esteem yourself to begin to eschew these. As soon as you slip, though, you may find yourself taking meaningless jobs, degrading your standards just to make a couple dollars without trusting that something better, more meaningful, is out there.

As my mom pointed out, I shouldn’t have used the word “crap”. Fair enough.

She also said I shouldn’t have said things that aren’t nice about Demand Studios.

I disagree.

In July, when I decided to start writing again, I had financial pressures. My youngest son was turning 5. I needed to start making money again.

That was the same month that I did my first paper on mindfulness for mothers. Hmmm.

Somehow, mindlessly, I threw all my time and energy into a quick dollar or two and left querying for magazines I truly respect by the wayside.

It’s not Demand Studios fault. It’s mine. But the fact that they do not see themselves as they are, as many astute journalists see them (thank God for their interviews, reports and blogs), is troubling.

Typically, I made jokes about working there, and tried to laugh about the silly article titles. But when I had a minute to step back, I was disturbed.

I was using the “have to feed my family” excuse, which makes nearly any kind of work seem legitimate. It’s not always the case.

I sacrificed my integrity by writing pieces that don’t add to the substance and value, and, if you’ll allow me, the nutrition of the dialogue that should be happening through writing. They clog its arteries. (a bit stretched, I know)

One of my “aha” moments was when I was looking for information on something. I think it was excema, I’m not sure. All I came up with from a Google search were these “content” sites, which, of course, I skipped over. It as a nuisance. It’s a problem for Google to solve.

Here’s to staying mindful, even when you need to feed your family.

In the words of that Nebraska housewife, Bessie Stanley,

Success

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.