So now that I have found my password (!) all I want to do is play on my writing blog. I have uploaded my nanowrimo first 20 pages, and if you want to comment on my lovely, stream-of consciousness writing, please do…just be kind.

In other news, my Master’s degree goes well. This course in prevention is reminding me of all the things I want to do to make my hometown even better. Nothing’s stopping me except time : ). butas I think about my final project (prevention of child sexual abuse and exploitation) I am reminded of all that can be done to make Nelson that much safer and more habitable.

My kids are getting a bit sick, one at a time, and this may very well be due to our activity level this fall: the boys are involved in so many sports that they have no time left for school : P We’re trying to work it in here and there, though.

So the theme of this post has to do with a recent comment by my mom. We were talking, and I was lamenting that, at 41 (now 42), I really hadn’t *done* anything yet.

And she says “You know, Grandma and I were just talking about this and we both thought you would have really made something of yourself by now”

Good Night!

Both of these lovely women have extremely good intentions, but it really just solidifies the narrative of my generation.

I can be anything I want! (as long as the kids are fed, educated and healthy, and the house is clean and my husband is fed and well…then…I can do **anything** I want! Only, it’s midnight…and I’m tired…and, you know, you have to keep your end up and stay healthy and fit…)

Now, I’m pretty blessed with an adorable, easy-to-love family. But I defy you to tell me how in God’s name I can really care for these people (and they don’t care for themselves) and “make something of myself”

Ah, well…

So I guess I should have made something of myself before I got married. *That* is really the message I think I would send to any women out there who are wondering about this sort of thing.

Okay, I’m really not that bitter : P

Fact is, though, I have been startled by this: how many happily married women with a few kids (more than 2) are there who actually also have an independent, successful career? Not many.

A few have a happy second marriage…so I will rephrase that: find me a happily married to her first husband woman, etc, etc,

So on to other news:

I lost my password to this account and *just* figured out how to get it back. This is true. I can be a little dingy sometimes.

Whew! And now, for my writing update:

I’m writing away on Suite 101 now

as well as Nanowrimo, and on my web site

I am also at Pitchtopia but haven’t yet pitched anything.

I may, just to see what happens, put a tip jar on here, and add bits of my nanowrimo novel…just to see if there is any encouragement out there…

Who knows!

So after a few very dramatic days: rain in the kitchen due to a flooded bathroom upstairs, a wasp sting to make me relive my anaphylactic shock of 22 years ago (only the memory, though) and a very quick rejection, regrouped. Had some quiet time, meditated, breathed, and was given the lead that I should try again, try harder, just stay focused and try. Given that in some ways it is insane to try (I am homeschooling my boys, Mike works full time, I am in the middle of my Master’s degree and we have no extended family or money for outside help) I was a little surprised that I should keep trying.

But I acknowledged the lead, got quiet, had a bit of a cry, and the seas parted: Mike took the boys on an extended day-long, two hour road trip to a lake where they stayed until 9:00 p.m. and I got to work: research, research, research and apply, apply, apply.

Thank God the applications are short but sweet on these things, because my forearm aches from the wasp sting. By the end of the day, my head ached, too. I had learned how to use In Design to make a nice, 5 page pdf of what I consider to be one of my “better” clips, I had edited a 1000 word interview to 523, I had found my resume (!) and I had found and applied to several writing gigs…and got 2 acceptances! Woot!

So now I am a suite.101 writer, and I am writing for Demand Studios, which, quite honestly sounds really good right now since they **pay** and pay quickly (so I’ve heard) And I write pretty fast, so I’m happy—the per word rate is so low as to make me depressed, but the hourly rate is pretty good, in other words.

Monday morning and I actually feel like I am “employed” sort of. But I have a paper due yesterday in my Group Process class, so I guess now it’s “I know he can get the job, Harry, but can he do the job” (from Joe Versus The Volcano) We’ll see.